You might be a freight dog if...

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1. Your airplane was getting old when you were born.

2. You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months.

3. ATC advices you of smoother air at a different altitude, and you don't care.

4. When you taxi up to an FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take it back when they recognize you.

5. You call the hotel van to pick you up and they don't understand where you are on the airport.

6. Center asks you to "keep the chickens down" so they can hear you talk.

7. Your airplane has more than 75,000 cycles.

8. Your company call sign is "Oil Can".

9. The lady at the FBO locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on "making a meal of it".

10. Your airplane has more than eight faded logos on it.

11. You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains.

12. Center mispronounces your call sign more than three times in one flight.

13. Your D O mysteriously changes your max takeoff weight during the holiday season.

14. Every FBO makes you park out of sight of their building.

15. You have ever walked barefoot through the FBO because you just woke up.

16. You mark every ramp with engine oil.

17. Everything you own is in you flight bag and suitcase.

18. Your company office is a mobile trailer at the side of the ramp...

19. You eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner...

20. ATC always asking for pireps because you're the first one through in 3 hrs...

21. You lost your sunglasses a year ago and haven't bothered to look for them...

22. You wake up when the rest of the world goes to bed and go to work when the rest goes to sleep.

23. You smirk at all the american pilots asking for a ride report.

24. The cabin is never too cold or warm, always just right.

25. You never have to explain to anyone why there is a delay.

26. You're the one flying against the flow over the north Atlantic.

27. you're the one with the extremely wrinkled shirt because it doubles as your pyjamas.

28. Your dog barks at you when you come home

29. You have shirts in the cleaners on three continents

30. You've never met your chief pilot

31. You can convert dollars to won, yen, pesos, pounds, and francs in your head

32. Your frequent flyer miles exceed your salary each year

33. When you walk into the hotel bar wearing just a towel & flip flops !:& feel over dressed !!!.

34. You are cleared direct everywhere.

35. You start to wonder what's wrong with ATC if you haven't got your landing clearance by 50 miles from the FAF.

36. The first runway condition report of the day is given by: you.

37. You have never disembarked your aircraft on to a jetway.

38. When you forget to check in, and ATC doesn't seem to care...

39. When you wear sunglasses when it's a full moon...

40. When you get frightened when the sun starts to rise...

41. When there's never a line when you need to go to the lavatory...

42. When you get annoyed if you're Nr. 2 in traffic...

43. When you don't leave home without speedtape...

44. Your Boss say's 'Weather, why check the weather. Your going anyway so why frighten yourself'.

45. Your Checklist includes tape for the labeling machine incase the 'inop' stickers fall off in flight

46. When taxing in and out in your 747, you run you block time up by offering to give way to everybody.

47. When you are sitting at the hotel bar at 5:00 Lt, wearing your high visibility jacket, and having your BBB (the very famous Before Breakfast Beer).

48. Your'e watching 'Top Gun', and when Maverick and Goose are being chewed out and threatened with "flying cargo planes full of rubber dog **** out of Hong Kong", you think "Hey, great job!

49. You get picked up as a vagrant on the ramp..

50. You wish you'd kept the piece of cold pizza..

51. Your children ask their mum who this strange man who sometimes visits is..

52. You find yourself watching people going to work through the bar window...

53. You wonder what a hostie would be like......then remember you married one in a previous life..

54. You can't work out what they are watching on TV when jumpseating in an EFIS flightdeck.

55. You have to wake up the customs & immigration people at the departure/destination airport.

56. Your company has incorporated in the GMM with the phrase "do the impossible with nothing".

57. You never get jumpseaters from other operators, they are too afraid.

58. JP4 (jet fuel) is a form of cologne.

59. You often watch your aircraft take to see if any panels fall off.

60. Even spotters avoid you like the plague.

61. Dirty aircraft? That’s not dirt, that holds panels on.

62. You often work with no shirt on to catch some rays.

63. People ask who you work for? You reply with your airline. They will then say, "never heard of them".

64. A fax machine is considered Hi-Tech equipment.

65. You’re asked where is your torque wrench? You reply, "It's right here in my elbow and my wrist watch is my calibration sticker".

66. They can't have drug tests because everyone would get fired.

67. You wipe the cowlings clean only to find that it's the same color underneath.

68. Your maintenance vehicle has many roles including, house, ladder, office, HAZ MAT storage, parts depot and maintenance control.

69. You set an alarm clock in the cockpit, in case the whole crew would feel asleep.

70. The flight engineer takes care of in flight beverages.

 

Gruß

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